It Comes with a Price
by MissIdeophobia
Summary: After the events of the last battle with Amaimon, Yukio is left to wonder how he can comfort his brother while trying to face a few of his own, personal demons.


Alternate Summary: After the events in the forest, when Rin reveals his true nature, Yukio returns to their dorm to offer consolation to his brother.

Warning: if you have not read up to the chapter "An Act of Kindness", then this story is a SPOILER. You have officially been warned.

Note: a lot of people call them "exwires", but the official English manga calls them "esquires", so that is the term that I use.

A Blue Exorcist Story

It Comes with a Price

Twice.

Only twice had Yukio ever not known what to say to his brother. Yukio was usually well-spoken. Quiet, yes, because he chose his words carefully, but when he needed to speak, he always knew what to say.

Well, almost.

The first time he was rendered speechless was when Father Fujimoto died. Yukio had come running into the church, trying to move through all the damage while still maintaining some semblance of composure, and had found his brother.

But he was different than how Yukio had left him. His brother's ears were pointed and sharp fangs were clearly visible with the way he was clenching his teeth. He also had a tail. Yukio had paused, taking a moment to process the strangeness of it all. But that wasn't the part that really got him. What really floored Yukio was the way his brother was crying.

And he was kneeling there. On the floor. Holding Kurikara like a lifeline...

...In front of Father Fujimoto's corpse.

Yukio had done all that he could do - he'd went to check their father's vitals. When there were none, he had stopped and stared in muted shock at how this man, _this brilliant, unmatched exorcist_, had been killed.

When he turned his gaze back up to his brother, Rin had collapsed into a sitting position and was staring _right back_.

"Yukio..." Rin had murmured, tears still running down his face. Rin didn't know what to say. Yukio didn't expect him to. His brother was in shock - a life-altering truth had been revealed to him in the same day that Satan, his true father, had killed the man who had raised him.

Yukio had expected, however, to open his own mouth and be able to say something reassuring, maybe reinforce his own lies with confusion. Rin didn't know that his twin brother was an accomplished exorcist.

But when Yukio saw that look on his brother's face, that expression of absolute devastation, he found that he couldn't muster up any words at all. He just opened and closed his mouth for a moment before turning his own shocked gaze back down to the remains of their father.

Perhaps it was that moment, that first time when Yukio hadn't known what to say to Rin, when the script of their lives just _stopped_...

Yukio looked back on their first meeting at True Cross's exorcist class and had to wonder if, perhaps, that moment was a catalyst for the anger he'd felt towards his brother.

But that time, that night, had been the first.

The second came shortly after the trial, when Yukio returned to the dorm that he shared with his twin. After an exhausting explanation of the situation to Rin's fellow esquires, Yukio had intended to retire quietly.

He had expected Rin to be out. When something happened, his brother usually vanished to mull over his own thoughts or release some of his physical frustration.

When Yukio opened the door, however, he was proven quite wrong.

Rin was curled up in his bed, his blankets pulled up around his head. He looked like he was sleeping deeply, but the agitated twitching of his tail said otherwise. It had managed to release itself from the binding of the bed covers and had taken up slashing about the air.

Yukio did not turn on the lights. He quietly closed the door behind him and locked it. Then he made his way to his brother's bed, sitting down at the foot of it.

"Shura told me about what happened at the trial," Yukio began slowly, his voice soft. "You were very lucky, Nii-san."

The lump of covers didn't move. The tail continued to twitch. The only acknowledgement that Rin had heard his brother's words was the slight snort that emanated from the recesses of the sheets.

"I know you don't think so, Nii-san..."

Yukio couldn't finish his sentence. How could he? The words were ridiculous, even to his own ears. "Lucky" only applied to the trial.

_"Why the hell is Satan's kid here in the Academy?"_

Bon's words, Yukio knew, had cut deeply. Rin respected Bon.

The betrayal of Shiemi's own words, however, had hurt his brother the most. Rin cared for Shiemi...a lot. Even Yukio wasn't sure how much. But Yukio knew the look that sparked in his brother's eyes when Shiemi cut him down.

_"Why are you laughing as if there's nothing strange about it?"_

The look on Rin's face, Yukio recalled, had been eerily similar to the one he'd worn when Father Fujimoto lay dead at his feet.

"Nii-san-" he choked, trying to find some way to console his brother but unable to locate any real words to say. His brow creased in frustration.

This was the second time.

The lump shifted as his brother sat up in the bed. Once his brother was level with him, he saw the hollowness in his eyes, the blank look on his face. It quite nearly killed him.

"N-Nii-san..."

Yukio very suddenly felt small; he was that cry-baby child incapable of doing anything for himself. He felt weak. He felt useless. He couldn't even manage to properly comfort his brother.

He stood up, moving numbly towards his own bed. What use was comforting his brother when he didn't even know what to say?

"Yukio."

He paused, stopping halfway between the beds. He turned around. When he spoke, his voice was quiet. "Yes, Nii-san?"

Rin raised his eyes. "Are you...afraid of me?"

Yukio thought of when he found Father Fujimoto and saw the transformation that his demon brother had gone through. Then, he had been afraid. He thought of their face-off in the classroom that first day. The first time he saw his brother's flames, he had been afraid. Then, when his brother exposed himself. Again, when Mephisto landed on that bridge holding the wild monster that his brother had become.

But Yukio knew this fear.

"Nii-san," Yukio began, feeling his voice come back stronger, his confidence return slowly, "I am only afraid of losing my brother."

Because even if Rin sometimes rendered him speechless, Yukio knew that he could never let himself be weak. When Father Fujimoto died, and after that first altercation between himself and Rin, Yukio swore that he would become his brother's protector in their father's stead.

But speechlessness was a small price to pay if he got to continue seeing that part of his brother that, despite the fangs, ears, and tail...

...was still very much _human_.

_Fin_


End file.
